You can’t help but notice: women everywhere are wearing leggings and boots. I go grocery shopping – I see leggings and boots. I walk my dog – more leggings and boots. I go to the funeral home and the deceased is wearing– you guessed it — leggings and boots. What gives?
I personally like the leggings & boots look, as long as they’re not worn by women who “push their luck” by squeezing into too small of a size, thus approaching the “breaking point” of Spandex, much as an overworked warp drive could spell doom on Star Trek:
SCOTTY: Captain, she can’t take any more! She’s going to blow!
CAPTAIN KIRK: Scotty, you’ve got to give me more!
Then BOOM! Everything explodes. Spandex, stretched to the max, has been known to demolish entire shopping malls, but the fashion industry covers it up. You can check. It’s on the internet.
If you’re a guy reading this, you’re probably asking yourself, “Do they make leggings for men?” Well, partner, today’s your lucky day. Introducing: MEGGINGS! I am not making this up. You can actually go online and order a pair. You’ll be able to jump into a pair, and with confidence, walk the streets of Paris, San Francisco, or Amsterdam; but just not Comstock, unless, of course, you want the crap beaten out of you.
Meggings offer many practical advantages for today’s rough & tumble man who’s unafraid of looking like a girl: (1) they never need ironing, (2) they accessorize with everything, and (3) they squish you to the point of impotency, which is good if you don’t want kids.
I’m not sure if meggings will catch on around here. But if they do, I’m moving. I don’t want to be around if the mall explodes.