On the Stress-o-Meter of Life, buying and remodeling a new home ranks up there with an IRS audit, getting fired, or listening to William Shatner sing “Mr. Tambourine Man.”
Have you ever cut through the cosmetics section at Macy’s? You’ll know you’re in the vicinity when you spot Macy customers that have collapsed, clawing at their throats, gasping for air.
Have you ever done something so stupid you know your wife will hold it over your head forever?
When you were a kid, how many times did you have a close call, dodge a bullet, have a near miss, or tempt fate? If you’re like me, it’s a miracle you’re still alive.
Most people don’t like to wait around at the airport. But with a little creativity, you can actually enjoy waiting for your flight.
Stale air smells of dead flowers and formaldehyde.
It’s cramped and dark, hot in the summer, cold in the winter.
Not much of a view either.
You say you’re here but I beg to differ.
Here is long gone, in your rear-view mirror.
Drive in the country; they’re easy to find.
They chew and moo with others of their kind.
Catholics don’t know how good they got it. Sure, they got Heaven & Hell, but they also got:
I knew something was wrong with me, but I didn’t know what. Everybody had been telling me I was “moving slow” and had a “blank look on my face.” What did they expect?