I was sitting on a barstool, closing time was near
When an old coot sat down and ordered up a beer.
Famous singers often die by crashing in planes. There is another way –
Die between your own sheets. There’s no muss, fuss, or mess when you die because of sleep apnea. Just one last snort and you’re gone.
Cable TV reaches a new low. If only they didn’t have all that pixelization. Hang onto your jockey shorts. It’s time to get “Naked & Afraid.”
There is absolutely no way to dispose of one’s loyal underwear without some degree of risk….and guilt.
You turn on the TV. You scroll. You fly past infomercials for “Dr Pimple Popper” and “Do You Have Craggy Skin.” You pause at a Time-Life program featuring the timeless music of Hank Snow and Loretta Lynn.
Scratch, spit, lie (repeat)
There are three ways a pulmonary embolism, frequently caused by a long airplane ride, can kill you:
I got some new underwear for Christmas, and I have to tell you, it’s my new best friend. Let me tell you about it.
NOTICE: CREEPY ALERT