About Jerry Howell

Jerry Howell, from the time he popped out of his mother’s womb with his twin brother Jack, has always insisted on setting goals. In Jerry’s case, his main goal was to achieve mediocrity. He has succeeded at this beyond his wild dreams. When asked about his modest goal-setting, Howell reasoned, “You could set really high goals, but you might not reach them.”

Some critics, such as his wife Liz, have accused Jerry of being “lazy,” of lacking motivation other than to write sophomoric humor pieces. Again, Howell had a response that makes total sense: “Why put off being lazy when you can do it today? After all, you could die in your sleep tonight, and then what? Besides, your wife can fix that leaky faucet after you’re dead.”

Speaking of which, after people are dead, aren’t you sick of them looking so sad lying in a casket, as if to say, “Look at me, feel sorry for me, I’m dead.” When you die, wouldn’t you rather have a smile on your face?

Me, too.